i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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