Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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