My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
