He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
