i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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