why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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