the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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