I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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