Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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