She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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