My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
