u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
