if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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