That's intense
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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