honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
