IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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