May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
