I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
