Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
