You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
