I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize