My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
