Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
