I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
