u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
