is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
