Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
