The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize