ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
