glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
