why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
