I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize