Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
