i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
