Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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