Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
