I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize