i barfeds in our rink
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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