i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
All the doctor said was why
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
