she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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