If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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