Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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