it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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