i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
