Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
