ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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