Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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