His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
