I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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