I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
