So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
