You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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