So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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