Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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