that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
FUCK WHALES
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
