counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
