I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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