none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
