Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
