YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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