i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
