im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
