i jhust puked up my retainher.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
