Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
