According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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